EquestriaStuck
by creativeCartographer
Summary: The Beta Kids and Trolls have been sucked into Equestria, and now are scattered all over the map! Rated T for Karkat's dirty, dirty mouth.


Karkat lay on something soft, eyes shut as birds chirped as warm rays on sunlight streamed onto his face. He slowly opened his eyes, blinking a few times before looking around.

"Oh good! You're awake. I was worried you might not wake up and I'd have to bring you to the Hospital!" Karkat turned his head and tried to push himself up to face the source of the unfamiliar voice. As he placed his hand on the floor he could've sworn his collapsing and expanding vascular system stopped. In the place of his hand he found... a candy red colored hoof.

_WHERE THE FUCK IS MY HAND. OHGOGWHERE'SMYHANDWHYISTHISMYBLOODCOLOR_

"Hello? Are you alright?" Karkat paused his mental breakdown to come face to face with a lavender hoofbeast. With a horn. Her neat hair was carefully cut and combed to a straight, practical shape.

The words came tumbling out before he could stop them. "WHERE THE **_FUCK_** AM I?!"

The lavender unicorn stared at Karkat, perturbed at his... more than unusual reaction.

"Are you okay?"

"NO. NO I AM NOT OKAY. I'VE JUST AWOKEN IN A ROOM THAT I HAVE **NO RECOLLECTION** OF BEING BROUGHT INTO TO FIND MYSELF FACE TO FACE WITH A PURPLE TALKING MAGIC **HOOFBEAST**. I AM NO WAY SHAPE OR FORM, 'OKAY!'"

The unicorn gaped, open mouthed at Karkat's response. He stared back at her, eyes narrowed.

"What do you mean... 'talking magic hoofbeast'?"

Karkat glared at her before attempting to shove his hands in his face before toppling onto the ground. "FUCK!"

The hoofbeast stared at Karkat, eyes filled with confusion and worry. "Uh... I'm going to go... and... You look hungry! I'll go and ask Spike to make something!"

Karkat stared as the purple pony hurriedly rushed down the steps. _WHAT THE _**_FUCK_**_ JUST HAPPENED. _When the sounds of the pony's footsteps (or hoofsteps, whatever) were gone Karkat's vision wandered around the room. A single window sat above a large blue bed dotted with stars.

_USELESS THINGS. WHY DON'T THEY USE SOPOR SLIME? _

A large mirror lay to the right of Karkat. He clumsily stumbled over to it and looked at his reflection. He cringed at the bright candy red fur coating his entire body. His eyes were still yellow, red pupils shining. His black hair was still the same, albeit a bit messier. A charcoal grey thing poked out from his hair. He pushed away a bunch of strands of his hair out of the way to find his nubby horns nestled underneath. _GOOD, I STILL HAVE THOSE. _He glanced over at his back (or whatever the hoofbeasts call it, flank, or something equally stupid.) to see a red cancer symbol emblazoned on his flank, outlined by the same grey he typed in. As he stared at himself he caught a glance of a large bookshelf behind him. He carefully edged himself over to the bookshelf where several large volumes lie. As Karkat scanned the titles he spotted a few names.

_Equestrian History: From Ancient to Modern, The Study of Magic: Volume 1, Advanced Spells: Volume 1, _and_ Supernaturals: Natural Remedies and Cure-alls that are Simply Super._

Karkat looked around the room, searching if anybody was there before clumsily walking forward. He lifted up his candy red hoof and attempted to pull out _Equestrian History. _The book remained unmoved. Karkat tried to lift up his other front hoof, attempting to stand on his forelegs before toppling over onto the floor.

"**_SHIT_**." Karkat rolled back onto his legs and inched back over to the bookshelf, pausing for a few seconds.

_THIS IS THE STUPIDEST IDEA I'VE EVER HAD. _Karkat begrudgingly extended his neck and bit the side of the book, dragging it across the shelf and onto the wooden floor. He nudged his stumpy red thing that had replaced his arm across the cover page and stared at the page, his eyes scanning the pages. Words like _Unicorn, Magic, Pegasi, Wings, Earth Pony, Alicorn, _and _Princesses_ popped out. He shoved of the book of the way and snorted. _MAGIC. _

== Be John

John, like Karkat had been doing a few minutes ago, lay on something soft while birds chirped and warm rays of sunshine fell onto his face. He sleepily looked around his new surroundings. Large trees towered above him, leafy branches far too green and full to be natural. John stared

at the sky. It was so blue. Blue... skies? Trees? He hadn't seen blue skies in years, where was he?! Where was Jade?! Where was everybody?! He rushed to push himself off the ground before freezing. He cautiously looked down at where his hand... should've been. Where his arm usually was a blue stumpy looking-thing had replaced its position. When he told his arm to move up, the blue thing moved up.

"What."

== Be Karkat again, this is boring.

Well if you're going to say it like that, I shouldn't even bother, in fact, I won't even let you be Karkat. I'm going to be someone else.

Twilight Sparkle stood in her downstairs room of the library, listening to the strange red pony as (she assumed) he (tried to) walk around her room.

She thought back to how he acted when he had awoken. He had stared at his hooves before asking where he was. _That was understandable, I suppose. But... a 'talking magic hoofbeast'? Everypony can talk, there's nothing odd about that. _She thought back to his yellow eyes, filled with anger and confusion, how he had seemed so foreign to four legs, his clumsy attempt to facehoof. Everything about him seemed... off.

Twilight sighed and walked into her kitchen, a small room with a single oven that doubled as a stove, a refrigerator, and a pantry filled with her and Spike's favorite snacks. She levitated a box of pancake mix from the pantry and started to mix.

== Be Karkat, dammit!

Fine. We'll be Karkat.

Karkat stumbled across the room, he'd been practicing walking on all fours for the past few minutes before the smell of something hit his new nose. He looked around for the source of the smell, cautiously walking across the room to the stairs. He peeked across the balcony to find another room underneath him, books lining every shelf. Karkat clung onto the railway as he extended one of his new feet onto the stairs before-

You are now John Egbert

== But I don't want to be John!

Oh come on, you KNOW what happens next.

==Be Karkat.

No

==Be Karkat

No

==Be Karkat.

No!

==Be Karkat

I fucking said no!

==Be Karkat

FINE, just SHUT UP

Karkat fell face first into the step, tumbling down before he smacked himself onto the hard wooden floor. As he crashed into the floor a door to his left opened. The hoofbeast peeked its head out, looking at Karkat, face full of worry.

"Oh my gosh, are you alright?!" She hurried over to Karkat, extending her hoof to help him up. Karkat scowled at her before he begrudgingly let her help him up.

"I'M FINE."

The hoofbeast sighed with relief, "Good, now then, I made some pancakes, they're in the kitchen."

Karkat slowly followed the purple hoofbeast into the kitchen, legs wobbling the whole time.

== Be Twilight

Twilight looked over at the red pony, pointing him to the table where two empty plates lay. He stumbled over to the chair (it was really a slab of wood with a cushion on it, but whatever) , trying to sit down. After a minute he looked over at Twilight, angry etched into his face. "I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SIT DOWN."

Twilight looked over at him, confused. _Don't know how to sit down? What? _

"Well you just... sit down." She walked over to the chair and sat down, looking over at the red pony's confused expression. Twilight observed him as he copied her actions as he sat down. _You can ask questions later Twilight... maybe he's just... tired?_

Twilight looked around at the oven, horn shimmering as she lifted up a stack of hot pancakes. She evenly divided them up and placed them on plates, when she looked up at the red pony his mouth was wide open.

"HOW DID YOU DO THAT?"

Twilight cocked an eyebrow in confusion. "Do what?"

"DO THE... LEVITATION THING. ARE YOU A PSIONIC?"

"A what?"

"YOU KNOW... PSIONIC? RED AND BLUE SPARKS AND THE ABILITY TO LIFT SHIT UP?"

"No? I'm... just using basic levitation." She paused. "Don't you know what magic is?"

The red pony looked up at Twilight. "MAGIC IS FAKE BULLSHIT."

_Magic is WHAT?! _"Excuse me?!"

"MAGIC IS FAKE SHIT THE WRIGGLERS MAKE UP TO MAKE THE WORLD SEEM MORE 'MIRACULOUS' MAGIC DOESN'T EXIST."

"But of course magic exists! Every unicorn-"

"WHAT THE **FUCK **IS A UNICORN?!"

Twilight gaped at the pony. "But... you're a unicorn, you should know what one is?!"

"**I'M **A UNICORN? IS THAT WHAT THIS STUPID-ASS SINGLE HORN IS?." He shook his head.

Twilight gawked at the strange red unicorn. Not knowing what a unicorn is when he is one? Magic_, _**fake?!** "But- but- of COURSE magic's real! We've always had it!"

The unicorn slammed his face into the table, causing the plates to rattle. "FUCK THIS SHIT."

Twilight stared at him, concerned. "Are you alright?"

"YEAH, I'M JUST PEACHY **FUCKING **KEEN."

Before Twilight could respond a loud knocking was heard at the door. She excused herself and trotted over to the door. A blue pegasus with square glasses and a dorky smile was at the door.

"Hi! I heard that you found someo-pony named Karkat here last night!"

Twilight nervously smiled. "Yeah, he's in the kitchen. Do you know him?" So his name was Karkat.

The pegasus smiled and nodded. "Yeah, he's one of my best friends! Me and my sister came to Ponyville to meet some of our friends here, but it looks like Karkat got caught in up in that storm when he got here."

Twilight's thoughts wandered to the large storm that had plagued Ponyville the day earlier. It hadn't been planned by the Pegasi, and all of the citizens had to stay inside the whole day. "Well, you're welcome to come in, I'm sure he'll be glad to see you! My name's Twilight, what's yours?"

"John Egbert, it's nice to meet you Twilight." John walked inside, the door shutting behind him. He looked around the library. "Woah, you have a **lot **of books."

"I actually don't own them, I'm just the librarian here. But since nopony really checks out many books, I usually have it them to myself!" Twilight smiled at John's admiration. She was always proud of the collection of books. She walked towards the kitchen, beckoning John to come after her.

"So where are you from?"

John paused before answering the question. "I'm from Manehatten, I'm part of the weather team there!"

Twilight nodded and opened the door. Karkat still had his face in the table, groaning.

"Hi Karkat!"

Karkat looked over at John, confused. "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?"

Twilight looked over at John, confused. John looked over at Twilight, nervously smiling. "We've uh, actually never met. We just sent... letters to each other." He turned back to Karkat. "It's me, John!"

Karkat stared at John for a few minutes. "I'M SO DONE." He smashed his face back into the table.

"Karkat? Are you alright?"


End file.
